The primary reason for hiring a nanny is to look after the kids. On the face of it, it’s a simple transaction: they do a job and you pay them for it.

But, as with all professional relationships, there are other dimensions, particularly when the emotions and well-being of the kids are an integral part of the picture. Sometimes, the lines can get blurred if your nanny also becomes your friend. What happens then, if there’s a tricky performance issue to manoeuvre?

Read on for your guide to managing a nanny that’ll keep your relationship on an even keel for years to come.

Are Nannies Employees?

The short answer is a resounding, “Yes” in the vast majority of cases. You, therefore, take on the role of the employer the moment your nanny steps through the door. That doesn’t mean you have to be a tyrant although there may be times when you need to be firm but fair.

Take a moment to think about bosses you’ve had in your own career that left a good impression. What was it about them you liked? These are potential answers to the question:

• They trusted me to get on with the job
• They always encouraged me to try out my own ideas
• They said, “Thank you” at the end of each day and were genuinely appreciative
• They listened carefully when I made a suggestion or had any type of problem
• They didn’t take any nonsense from anyone and could be assertive in a fair way
• I always felt supported
• They paid me on time every month!

And, what didn’t work? Here are some statements you might expect from a nanny who didn’t get on with the family they worked for:

• I felt micromanaged, smothered and had no space to be creative
• The parents were unreasonably demanding and moody
• The mother kept changing her mind about what she wanted every 5 seconds
• Some of what they wanted me to do fell outside the remit of being a nanny
• I felt under-valued and never part of the family
• I had to fight to get every cent: they still owe me for working public holidays

When you’re a boss you have to wear many hats depending on the situation. Sometimes you can be a friend, sometimes you will need to be assertive. To get the best results you need to be a combination of many styles but above all you need to be:

• Fair, Approachable, Clear, Encouraging, Kind and Consistent

Can My Nanny Be a Contractor?

The short answer is a rather hesitant, “Yes, but rarely.” As a nanny or even as an employer you can’t just decide you’d rather be or pay someone as a contractor because it suits you better.

There are strict rules around this mainly because of the tax implications. If you get it wrong there can be serious consequences. As a rule of thumb, a contractor would have control over when and if they choose to work. Their hours are often erratic and never set in stone.

A contractor would normally have several different clients that they work for. They would also typically need their own equipment to get a job done.

The Importance of Paying a Nanny Correctly

If we do a job, we expect to get paid for it. Nannies are no different to any other kind of employee in that sense. Many see their profession as vocational and as a career choice. They take it very seriously indeed and with good reason. Their job is to look after extremely precious human beings.

Nannies have loans for cars and mortgages too. They will also want a plan for retirement like the rest of us. As well as this, they have the same rights as everyone else to different rates of pay for overtime and working on public holidays. And, they have a right to sick and holiday pay.

They also need regular payslips that clearly show the amount of tax deducted and any other mandatory contributions.

How to Pay the Nanny

Although you could decide to sort out your nanny payroll yourself, it’s time-consuming, easy to slip up and can cause you plenty of headaches further down the road. The simplest way to deal with your nanny’s salary is to outsource all the admin to a third party like Pay the Nanny.

If you do this, you’ll know that you will always be tax compliant. It also puts a level of distance between yourself and your nanny. This can be useful if your nanny has a query about a particular issue or needs clarification about what their payslip means.

Pay the Nanny will do all the hard work behind the scenes such as deducting taxes, keeping track of holidays and ensuring overtime gets paid properly. Think of them as your very own in-house payroll department.

The low cost of outsourcing is a small price to pay for the total peace of mind it brings. Getting paid by an agent whose sole responsibility is to make sure your nanny gets paid properly is also the preferred option of most nannies. It eliminates any potential direct confrontation over money between themselves and the family they work for.

Tips for Managing Your Nanny

You need to put the kids aside for a moment and detach yourself emotionally. Your relationship with your nanny is primarily a professional one and you need to treat them as you would if they were an employee of yours in any other setting or for any other service.

That means conducting all the usual processes. These include:

• Issuing your nanny with a contract
• Holding regular performance reviews
• Carrying out an annual salary review

Clarity is key and these kinds of scheduled and more formal meetings are important. They are opportunities to raise issues that might be bothering you. If you don’t carry these out, then any failure will be on your part should there be a festering issue that escalates.

You should also put a reminder to yourself to have a weekly catch-up. This can be informal and in fact, your nanny doesn’t even need to be aware that it’s happening. Again, it’s worth investing a couple of minutes just to check in as a duty of care and to reinforce any procedures you may want implemented.

Your message needs to be clear and consistent around your own expectations of childcare and parenting style.

What Makes a Great Communicator?

There are 2 evergreen management tools you should keep under your belt:

• If you’re delivering a difficult message, begin the conversation with a positive
• Always, always say, “Thank you” to your nanny at the end of every shift they work

Pick up on tasks your nanny does well and reflect your appreciation of these back to them. If there is something that hasn’t gone well, don’t let your nanny leave for the day with that thought at the forefront of their mind. Acknowledge and remind them of what they do well.

Listen carefully to any concerns your nanny may have. Sum up what they have said and repeat it back to them. It shows you’ve taken what they have to say on board and understood it.

When you think of someone who’s a world-famous communicator, Nelson Mandela or Barack Obama may spring to mind. But, the art of great communication is not just about delivering a message. It’s all about listening and conveying empathy. That’s when the connection happens.

Make Your Nanny Feel They Belong

Achieving a sense of belonging is one of those eternal goals that are part of human nature. “Which tribe do I belong to?” It’s a question that’s never been more poignant or complex to a child than now, but it also applies to your nanny.

Being a nanny can feel like a isolated job with fewer opportunities to interact in a meaningful way with adults. It’s therefore really important to make your nanny feel included and an integral part of the family.

How you do this requires careful navigation because the relationship is ultimately a professional one. However, there’s nothing to stop you from including your nanny in certain family-orientated decisions by asking their opinions for genuine consideration.

Some parents also like to include their nannies on family days out and holidays. And, once your nanny gains your trust, you’ll feel able to delegate more responsibility. That in turn will increase their own sense of belonging and how they fit into the family dynamic.

You also need to show consideration of your nanny’s personal circumstances. They’re going to have commitments and responsibilities outside their working lives. It makes sense to get a steer of what these are likely to be especially in the run-up to major holidays.

Make Sorting Nanny Payroll Your Priority

When drilling down into what really matters to any worker, you’ll find that getting paid correctly and on time is right up there. We know that parents with careers have little time left to spare. Outsourcing your nanny’s payroll to a third party makes perfect sense.

Get in touch with one of the team at Pay the Nanny and let us take care of all your nanny payroll admin so that you and your nanny can get on with you both do best.