Turn the clock back 21 years. Remember “Friends” and “The one with the male nanny?” The episode broke new ground when Rachel and Ross proved that what might once have seemed unusual could be endearing and eye-opening. You might experience something similar when the captain on your next flight happens to be a woman.

We’re beginning to challenge gender stereotyping, particularly when it comes to who looks after the kids. But it can still get stuck in our psyche.

Read on to find out why hiring a manny comes with many welcome benefits.

Breaking the Mould

In Australia, just under 1 in 5 primary school teachers are male. In New Zealand, the ratio skews to females even more.

We’ve been talking to lots of au pair and nanny agencies. We reckon it’s fair to assume that it’s not a dissimilar story when it comes to the number of men who work as nannies (or mannies).

However, if you were to write down what really matters to you as a parent, gender is not likely feature prominently on the list. What’s important are the qualities of the person, and male nannies can have these in spades, just like their female counterparts.

Some nuances could, however, make a manny a better choice.

Naveed Mardi is an Iranian American and former professional rugby player for the Iran National Rugby Team. He’s also become probably the world’s most famous and sought-after male nanny, as well as an author of children’s books.

He enjoys riding a motorcycle and surfing in his spare time. On the face of it, he perhaps challenges the picture we might have of a regular nanny.

For him, success came from understanding how to get children's attention. He starts by creating a fun environment that involves using the kids’ imagination in just about everything. He’s also, he says, the world's number one at creating games on the spot.

What Makes a Good Dad?

Run through most trusted sources. You would be hard-pressed to see a great deal of difference between the answers to this question and those to “What makes a good Mum?”

A person who offers “protection,” “security,” “affection,” and “encouragement” appears to be the ideal. That’s regardless of gender. Whether through nurture or nature, generalised sociological and developmental differences can crop up.

Dads tend to use more “command terms” with boys compared to Mums, for example. Both men and women tend to speak more loudly to boys than to girls. Boys are prone to getting away with more aggressive antisocial behaviour than girls.

Why a Manny Could Be a Good Choice

All families are different. A manny would be a good fit in single-mum households or those with two mums. Mannies can provide insights from a male perspective, so the kids get another positive influence from a different point of view.

A manny could offer a sense of balance the kids may otherwise lack. Not all children need a male presence in their lives, but if you believe your child does, hiring a manny is an excellent way to achieve this.



When dads travel a lot, a manny can also maintain the continuity of a male role model in the kids’ lives. They can also take on a kind of older brother role. This can be helpful if the child is male and doesn’t have an older brother to act as a guide.

It’s essential to recognise that these roles are not needs but potential helpful extras. Boys sometimes tend to relate and open up far better to men, especially those who are there to act as mentors and care for them. That’s not always going to be the case, however.

The Link Between Exercise and Sleep

We need to be mindful of the risk of perpetuating stereotypical myths. We’ve seen that some mannies may be more suited to heavy-lifting projects such as fort or treehouse building. Extra strength may be helpful if there is a child with physical challenges and who need additional support.

Many male au pairs we’ve worked with and who come from overseas have great sports and coaching skills. They can use this expertise to boost the confidence in kids of either sex. Getting sufficient exercise is one of the keys to physical and mental well-being. It also helps improve the quality of sleep.

There may also be a sense of heightened safety if a male accompanies the kids to the park. It’s worth noting, however, that more men than women tend to experience physical violence in non-domestic situations.

Although it doesn’t have an impact on overall intelligence, the way men and women think is different. Men tend to use far more grey matter, whilst women use more white matter.

Men outperform women on mental tasks that involve spatial skills like mental rotation. They can also be more aggressive. Women tend to be more empathetic and do better at language and verbal memory tasks.

Key Points to Consider

Here are a few valuable questions to ask if you are considering a nanny or a manny:

• What is the male-to-female balance in the family?
• Does the manny have a particular skill or expertise the kids could benefit from?
• Do the kids find it easier to talk to males or females?
• Which gender of nanny would benefit the kids most?

The point to remember is that there isn’t a right or wrong answer. It is the qualities of a nanny or au pair that are important.

Doing What’s Best For the Kids

The nature vs. nurture debate will continue to rage when it comes to perceived differences between men and women. What matters most when hiring an au pair or nanny are their skills, experience and personality.

A manny may have the edge over a female competitor because of some of the extras they bring to the table. That could be how they think or their experience in some aspect of life that’s a better fit for your family.

But, whoever you choose, you need to be sure that you pay them correctly. Talk to Pay the Nanny and get your nanny (or manny) payroll sorted today.